Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Eid


Assalamualaikum and hi.

It's the fourth day of Syawal for this year.As usual,its a routine for everyone to enjoy the eid w/ friends and family.
My eid this year is quite different.If before, I used to start the first day of eid by bermaaf-maafan with the whole family members and then we go to the mosque and visit the graves of our datuk nenek moyang.Then,we'll start visiting rumah saudara-mara but now the trend start to change.
This year,the eid is not that complete as my big bro who's studying in Egypt didnt come home.
Belah abah,Tokwan and Tok Ki pon dah about a year takde and belah ummi Tok Ayah already met the God.And nenek yang paling aku rapat pon dah almost two years kembali ke rahmatulAllah.So, if dulu kitorg balik kampung to visit them now balik kampung pon just gitu2 je.The feeling was different.

So, yang muda2 je yang tinggal.It's different how the old people treated their child and grandchild as how people's nowadays do.The style is still the same like bersalam salaman,borak2, makan sesama and bagi duit raya and stuff but I guess we nowadays we rarely put our hearts in. We did all that just for the sake of doing but we didnt being fully sincere of doing so.
We are all selfish. We want people to respect us,but we dont.We ask people to be friendly,but we dont.
We wish for people to come to us,but did we do that?

But we do visit rumah tok belah arwah Tok Ki. Even it is just a short visit, I do feel the excitement. I feel the old feeling of visiting sedara mara. Kami borak2, makan2 and do the same things as at others house but the feeling is different there.I believe that was because everyone put their hearts there.

I see this in my family now.As a young generation, I cant do anything.I just follow the trend and be there if i have to.I felt quite sad but what can I do.I do hope the next year and my generation wouldn't be like this again.i'm sick of seeing people being hypocrite and irrational.All of us want the harmony and silaturrahim to continue.It all starts with us.Even a small act like bertanya khabar,it will work as long as we put our hearts in.

Rasulullah has once said,

 “Tidak masuk syurga orang yang memutuskan hubungan kekeluargaan.” (Hadits riwayat Muslim)

Hopefully everyone realizes the situation in our big family now and try to put our effort to fix it.
Jika ada salah silap, ida mintak maaf.
Salam Aidilfitri,Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Monday, November 4, 2013



Assalamualaikum and hello there.
It's 12.48 a.m now and today is the first day of Muharram.Alhamdulillah,God still leave us alive in this,never waste the chance He gave.
Life is a journey and every path we go has its own lesson for us.
Don't regret if you fall,because your experience of falling is a gift to shine your journey. yeah, you'll be bored living without challenges.

Many of my friends think that I've nothing to be worried about my life is just perfect but then I am not that lucky enough. Before this I consider this thing as a problem but tonight I take it as a challenge, I challenge myself to pass this obstacle of being too passive. To be honest I've been kinda too pendiam tak friendly which i don't realize when this habit betapak dalam diriku. I'll try to mingle around especially with my cousins,relatives and friends. Maybe just say hi when seeing each other and being more open to share my feeling and opinion. think positive,be brave and break the wall of comfort-zone.

It's been about a year I let my blog unupdated i guess and just finished my first year of degree, not because I'm too busy or what but I just felt like not to share.
up until now, Alhamdulillah I've been blessed with a good academic performance and I believe it's not because I'm genius or what but it's due to the support I gained from family and friends.
For me the most important thing in our lives is the "niah" so that's why i always try my best to complete my "niah". The things I always remember when I felt malas or give up were my "niah" :
1. I wanna get God's bless
2. Make my parents happy
3.Helping those around me achieving their dreams
4.Naikkan nama islam dalam masyarakat. (asyik chinese je dapat best student award)

To gain success need a lot of hard works and planning of course. So, plan our own schedule that suits us well and stick with it. discipline ourselves. The tips were to focus as much in class, always ask lecturers if we don't understand (for me I like to see them personally) and do our revision.
Those tips seems like a bit common,so here's my secret (which I've just discovered last semester Ha Ha):
Help your friends to score, by doing so you gain more than others. And the feeling knowing your friends succeed or even score better than you is really satisfactory. Being one of the reason for others to succeed is priceless.And lastly never forget to ask the help from God.make do'a and perform solat hajat. Always have faith that God is there for us.

This year is the most challenging phase I've gone trough since 19 years of living.haha bebajet dah besar sikit.
On April, I've detected some abnormal lump in my breast (yeayh maybe it's a sensitive issue to share but I believe this will benefit those women out there). Thanks God that i knew where to go. I've met Miss Wong, penasihat Youth to Youth Club (Y2Y) who is also a nurse at Klinik Kesihatan Keluarga. I've told her about the lump that I found when doing the breast-self examination so she just did the manual checking since there's no machine at the clinic and yes she also feel there's abnormal cell.Only then I tell my mom about it.the next day she brought me to the hospital for an ultrasound.I pray to God hopefully it's not a cancerous cell and Alhamdulillah doctor said it is a benign and she found not just one lump but many, called as multiple bilateral breast lump.I am quite shocked to know that but my mom had cool me down.
After that I did the needle biopcy test to verify that those lumps are not cancer and yeayh they're not.
Even it is a relief but I begin to feel depressed and sad. sometimes I felt scared and I just kept those feeling to myself. I pretend to be strong, I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
Then my mom consult a specialist in the hospital she work to set for the date of operation. At that time I should take a break from Medtech for a while and I don't want to. I'll be left behind by my batchmate so I ask my mom to postpone it until I finish my first year.Even i can't focus and contribute much to the club I felt happy enough to join MAS MAY 2013 and go duty as usual. Maybe people would see me as not so interested to the club but honestly I've tried my best.
on 12th September 2013 I've been operated to remove the lumps and Alhamdulillah everything goes well and there's no side effect after the operation,so now I feel healthy enough.
I consider myself as lucky to have that experience that not everybody have it. At that time, myself getting closer to Allah. I kept telling myself to just accept the fate and be strong.
Since october is the breast cancer month,I should share this post last month actually but then it's okay. at least I do it tonight.
During the tough time you face, don't give up,remember you have God to ask for help, the family that always love you and the friends whose give support. You're just not alone.

here's some pictures of the lumps removed. 

Looks scary init? With todays technology, nothing to be scared actually.
You don't lose your breast anyway, they only take out lumps.

We still have a long way to go.Just go with the flow and enjoy every moment we face.
And today if I'm not mistaken is already the 59th day of my four month break I enjoyed it so much.
The time is well spent with family and friends.To be honest I start to miss my classmate by the way hihi.

Aim High, Work Hard.Salam Maal Hijrah.

Saturday, December 22, 2012



Assalamualikum and Hi there!
How are you doing? Hopefully we still be granted with good health and His blessing.
Actually i'm posting this short post*yeah,short enough i guess just to share few things i learnt lately.
Now i really understand what "EXPLORATION" really is.
Why Kak Marina and Kapten chose Karisma English EXPLORATION(if i'm not mistaken la) .KEX.
Its because its sacred meaning. and only now i truly understand it.

People always says "Experience is the best teacher" and yeah it is but for me exploration is the best experience. ehehe.bole erk? :P
Yep it almost a year I've been here in UTP, far away from home. I'm kinda excited at first to enjoy the new life here. But being here actually not about to enjoy the freedom, not to be away from our fitrah basically. It is all about learning. Of course to achieve a good result and gain academic knowledge but not to forget here, we learn the basic introduction about life. What life is all about? how to deal with people? How to manage our own self.

through my observation.ecece.hehe. First and most important thing I discover is 'friends'. before, I just be friend with anyone, huha huha with everybody but that everybody is not true friend.
I found that not all the people are sincere. some just trying to benefit something from be careful guys.
to find a bundle of friends is easy but to discover a true friend is not. Here is 2  criteria to look for:
-have a good heart.even some cant show their attention and love but we,can feel it.
-bring us closer to our God.keep reminding us about solah, aurat and attitude.
But, reminder to find a good friend,we ourselves should be that "good friend" first.

Second.surrounding.Be aware! Dont believe people easily. I've once being asked to buy a product. And I dont know I cant think rationally at that time and i just bought it. It cost RM2000++. Just imagine,how come init?They control fully my psychology at that time. I try to ask them to return back that product the next day but they play around with the contract I've signed. I can do nothing.Its all because of my carelessness. But thanks God, my parent are both supportive. They dont blame me at all. They advise me to learn from this, dont easily believe people, remember your main point to be there(to seek knowledge,to make me proud).
For the first time in my life I cried when talking with my Abah.I dont expected those words from him. I thought he'll be very angry hearing that. Alhamdulillah,now everything settled. Starting from that incident, I appreciate my parent more, i realize how loving they are.I respect them much.And I'm not the old Ida yang boros lagi dah.Someone told me "it is  the best lesson when it happen when you're still young because you'll not repeat it when you're old". work with people especially to do group task.I learnt a lot this sem how to work with others.Yep, everything kak Marina said is right. First,Choose a leader.I've done a group project but we forget to assign a leader and at last the result was hurm.So,now I get something:
-Choose your group member if you can.Thats our right kan. Only great people think alike.
-Assign a group ensure things went smoothly.
-Be a good group member. Do what we suppose to do and help others also.
-Do research and ask others opinion.
-Be serious.
I did not blame anyone but it just an advise for all of you and myself to be well prepared and give full commitment in completing any task.And learn from others.

My last word.Just go with the flow.accept everything that happen and EXPLORE the reason why it happen.
Be a good person. Make others happy.Remember we are here to gain knowledge,make our parents proud and explore the real life.So, lets reorganize our timetable to prepare ourselves to achieve success here and hereafter.
"Exploration is the best experience". dont afraid to explore okayy. :))

Saturday, November 3, 2012



Assalamualaikum and hello there.

 before aku start cakap pape, jom tengok video ni dulu.

       i'm crying  the first time i see this video. it's kinda got me thinking could i fulfill all those wishes?
will i treat them well,the way they asked? i dont know. even my mom and dad,your parents also i guess,never wrote that kind of letter to us.but deep inside every parents have those wishes in their heart.
They grow us with care,love and patience.Never give up of feeding us the best food, teaching us to walk and ride a bicycle, giving us all the things we asked . But did we think about all those things?did we truly appreciate that? could we have something to give back, tho they never ask us to do so. think about it. think about it.

      Mom and Dad. we thanks God for sending both of you to this world. You raise us until what we are now. So, its our responsibilities to make your tomorrow getting brighter and brighter. If we ever hurt your feelings, please forgive us. We know you are getting older,so do us.We hope we will patiently help you up when your knees get weaker,listen to your stories the way you hear our teddy bear story long time ago. Don't worry we will never sick of your smell because you are heaven to us. If the day you have to wet the bed, please don't say sorry but cherish a smile so that my future children remember that smile. We would be glade to hear those whisper from you to God. We know your blessings are the key to God blessings. but am i worth to receive those whisper? am i good enough to be proud of? am i a good daughter to you? I hope so.

     indeed,i know my parents never read this post. But i want them to keep calm because i'm trying my best to be the good one. In shaa Allah. ' O God give me strength to always fight for this dunya and hereafter. Gather us one day in your real paradise. Give us true happiness and excitement.' Ameen.

Sunday, September 9, 2012



Assalamualaikum cinta..HAHA

I'm just finished my final exam for my 2nd sem . ya even not so satisfied with chemistry*a bit tough i guess,even budak chemical pon fening,but still happy la dpt cuti kan,hurm seminggu je kot..

anyway banyak benda boleh buat dlm masa yg singkat ni
first of all,have a date with my so-kiut-miut-bestfriend whose going to further her studies in Egypt,CIDA .
why i call it a date?huhu,just two of us okkay,lepak-ing at mcD whil having such a very girly stuff,gossiping..HAHA sharing our experiences,opinion and tak terlepas buat tutorial shawl uolls*ye la orang tu dpt shawl baru kan . act i've no idea nak bagi ape la dekat cida ni,nasib baek ade dua orang budak genius utp bg idea..first kitorg plan nk beli cadar*kinda weird kan,but opcoz hari2 before tidur kompem cida igt aku..hewhew.taaaaapi xde yg lawa pulak kt shopping mall yg kitrg pegi tu.after all tukar plan beli shawl..ahha thats the story.kuakua
hopefully mung suko,da


beli dua terus tau..HAHA 
punye la excited,we forgot to take at least one picture of us la as kenangan before kau fly kan..apa boleh buat lupa punya pasal..and lepas tu kitorg pegi jumpa ain kat hospital.her mom's just having her  first chemotherapy.both me and cida just dont know how to calm ain..she immediately cries once we arrived..the most terkilan part is when ain cakap"aku takut tak sempat nk berbakti dekat ummi aku".ain,there're too much ways untuk berbakti tau..i think what u already done is more than enough..aku ngan cida,what we able to do was just having some talk and buat lawak yg at least could make she smiles.and yeahh ain boleh gelak sakan.erm,for sure,we cant cure,the only thing we could do is pray "Ya Allah,give her strength to fight against that disease for her children and family" AIN stay strong dear!!

hurm,i guess hari ni  una ngan fini mesti pegi KLIA hantar cida..aku babai dari jauh je laa
aku doakan kau success kat sana,one day balik as a new doctor.make ur mum proud babe.i know u can do it..chaiyyokk!! :)
dari kiri-cida,ain..lolzz
I WISH TO SEE THOSE SMILE samapi korang tua lahh..HUHU
tak lupa the other friend of mine yg turut fly ke jordan,dentistry -MAIRAH..orang buat aku tacing time aku masuk utp dulu.siap buat post special lagi utk raidah dia ni kat fb..HAHA

yg ni pon babai dr jauh.. <3 u mairah
even aku tak berjiwa sastera macam kau,tak dpt buat post tacing2 bagai.i wish u all the best!!
kalo balik Mlaysia nanti jgn lupe roger aku tau..

NI HA,AYAT2 YG BuAT AKU TACING ..huhu..thanks a lot mairaa :))
"ini utk dia. like anda dpt mberi smgt kpd dia.

alhamdulillah.dah msuk 3 thn ak knl dia.2 tahun jd classmate ak.haha.
dia-sgt tidak bperasaan.muka dia x menunjukkan sbrg riak.
dia-peka thdp surrounding.
dia-sifu physics VSG.means sifu kitorg la.sbr mgajar-mdidik wlaupn kitorg ni dotdot.HAHA.
*i miss that big time*
she's good at planning her life,i swear.
dan hasilnya,dia akn ke UTP for electric el

ectronic engineering,which is her biggest dream.

now ida,this is for u.
we ♥ u!
thx for being a great u.
when i write/type dis,im almost cry.hahaha.
ida,gluck!may Allah bless u!
smga urusn mu dpmudahkn.
smga smua y drancg mjadi kyataan.
doakan kitorg dpt join mu.
never forget us,plis.
i know ure smiling blissfully for all d efforts n togetherness.
 — with Zubaidah Zack."
bertudung hijau.DAYAH terr

5SC 2 proud of u guys!!

uhhu..still terharu baca benda ni..tak lupa jugak buat shabat2 lain,classmate yg menyambung pelajaran kat negara org,macam DAYAH ZAHARAN,KIRAH,NISA'(tok oyak sepatoh dihh.hahah),AYUNIE ANIS,BUCHAK(eh boleh ko panggil gitu,hehe),ameer firdaus,amin..good luck kt sana,macam yg org lain nasehat la jaga diri,jaga eh salah"jaga akhlak,jaga iman,jaga hati"..insyaAllah dipermudahkan segala urusan..and jgn lupa doakn kitorg yg study dlm negara ni yeee..hehe


Friday, July 13, 2012


Assalamualaikum and hello there!

Now i know why i'm so moody and down je these few weeks.
even baru je balik rumah,hari2 duk igt nk balik je..
Hari ,jumaat cam biase la ade lab chemy .so,awal2 pagi lagi dah gerak pegi lab la kan .
about 9.30 a.m camtu la,while waiting my lab partner tulis report,aku tgk phone..miscall dr ummi and a text message
"nenek takda dah pukul 8.30 pagi td"  oke ,innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun..only Allah knows what i felt..siyes,nak nanges aku tahan, taknak classmate lain tahu..speechless!shocked!

tayah cakap ah i lost the most important person in my life,my teacher, best friend,orang yg selalu buat jokes ,and the greatest motivator ever.all the memories came cross my mind again and i cant stop crying..
igt lagi masa tadika dulu,org 1st aku tgk bila bangun pagi is she,ye la my parents awal2 pagi lagi kerja.
then,nenek la yg tlg mandikan budak tadika ni,bagi minum MILO semua tu..bila balik tadika ,lunch is already served..terus aku berkejar ke dapur,nasi putih+telur dadar..then petang2 aku nyanyi lagu2 yg belajar dekat tadika tu depan nenek..*she'll then express that happy smile seeing her over-excited  grandchild ni
kalo aku mandi hujan ke buat masalah,nenek la yg selalu backup aku dr kena perangan hanger umi.
-time sekolah rendah takyah citer ah..bila aku dapat no 1 dlm kelas.nenek la yang paling happy..pantang makcik2 sekampung  datang rumah.kompem dapat tahu this good news..pastu aku dapat hadiah basikal baru.dia la yg introduce all the interesting games yg kitorg main mase tu..main buai bawah pokok rambutan,tarik pelepah pinang,main tali getah etc.
-lepas aku masuk sekolah menengah,she starts treating me like a friend..bagi nasihat,share experience die and tanye je la pape pon,she'll give her opinion sincerely .selalu nasihat aku selalu buat baik ngan orang lain,jangan cari pasal,hormat orang lain..sekali kita buat tak baik,tunggu Tuhan balas balik.
nenek jugak yg ajar aku cara nk pilih kawan,suruh jaga maruah diri and family and encourage me to study hard.balas jasa parents nanti..time aku SPM pon dia selalu cakap,semoga Allah pnjgkn umur dia nk tgk aku masuk U.and Allah mkbulkan doa nenek..lepas isyak aku akn buat air kopi tak pon tea bagi nenek.*before study ngan NIA kan..

masa kecik2 dulu pon,yang jadi bantal tidur aku,nenek..
teman pegi masjid time maghrib isyak semua tu..I still remember the moment when kitorg jalan sama2 bawa torchlight ke masjid tu..b4 balik rumah,beli kerepek pisang makan smbil jalan.,
and also yang ajar aku acane nak niat solat terawih,cara nk duduk dlm saf solat semua tu

then,everything change bila nenek masuk hospital last April.time tu aku tgh final exam..memang sem-break seminggu tu aku ulang alik pegi hospital je la..masa tu doktor dpt detect nenek ade masalh kidneys..
she's not as happening as before anymore,pastu bila balik rumah pon memang tak larat..xde selera makan semua tu..pastu,last week time mid-sem break yg aku balik hr tu,nenek just terlantar je.langsung xde tenaga..
seriously,aku nanges kot mase nk balik utp hari tu..berat je nk tinggal i realised that was the last moment we met..and today,its Friday.i should say goodbye to her.and of course it hurt.

tipu ah kalo aku cakap i'm the strongest person semua tu,memang la kena redha as a human-being i'm so sad..but what to do.Allah lebih sayang nenek.Dia taknak nenek lagi menderita..people said:why sad when u can pray right..and yeah thats the only thing i can do..

"Ya Allah,ampunilah dosa2 nenek,kurniakanlah pahala disisi-Mu ke atas jasa2 dan kasih sayang yg nenek curahkan kepada kami dan tempatkanlah nenek bersama hamba2-Mu yg beriman dan soleh.Ameen"

and thanks kawan2 yg selalu bagi kata2 semangat.i'll try to be strong..
sorry tak inform mase kat lab td sebab aku memang takbole nak cakap sepatah pon.. LA TAHZAN INNALLAHA MA'ANA.semoga nenek tenang di alam sana.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

bukan diriku

assalamualaikum and hello there..

officially aku dah masuk sem 2 kat utp ni.
live is always ohhsem lahh..pointer sem 1 pon dean list..Alhamdulillah.
bila dah masuk sem 2 ni.thing getting more complicated but still i can follow laa..lecturers pon sume perangai suke tido time lecture tu memang tak bole nk buat ape ahh..hehe
entah pape nk share pagi2 buta ni *ye la pukul 4.19 a.m kot..wee~roomate pon dah tido da..
act aku quite confuse skrg ni.i dont know what i want.i hardly understand myself,my personality and also my heart.i dont feel i'm the same ida lagi dahh--nak senyum pon susah apatah lg nak buat lawak mcm dulu..erm,Ya Allah.i feel so weird :(( hati ni macam tak tenang makan pon xde selera..omaigodd

thanks God.i'm lucky enough having good friends that shine least i can force myself to smile.
Sema' adni eliza and rina..seriuosly AKU SAYANG KORANG..i'll try my best to come back..aku pon x suke jadi camni..its hurt.

hopefully lepas take a nap kejap agi,my mood suddently change.
so i can focus on my i always motivate my friend ,una to accept the fate,be positive and enjoy every single moment we face,i should do it too.

how hurt it is,i should always aim high
for myself,
my parents
and my friends.
"dulu cita2 nak bukak kedai kek je,
sedar2 dah otw to be an engineer.Ya Allah permudahkn urusanku"-fb Zubaidah Zack
so,just go on and focus on ur aim,ida..u can do it.put ur trust on Him